A KEY TO EMOTIONS

By Ángela López I like you, pain; you remind me that I am still breathing.   As long as you continue to sleep by my side, this body will continue to cling to the warmth of the agony to which you have condemned me.   For years I have cursed you, but one fine day surrender knocked at my door, my knees finally bent before you, dear adversary. My decision was not due to lack of courage, but to the weariness of an absurd struggle; I wanted to change the result, when in reality mathematics is exact, one plus one will always be two, it will never be zero.   Poor innocent me when I tried to reject what made me different from the others, no one can run away from his shadow. The answer was always Acceptance. Raised under the religious bosom, I remembered the words of the New Testament in the Gospel according to Luke that says: "to him who strikes you on one cheek, present the other also…".   I have tattooed this advice in my heart to understand that I cannot fight against pain...

By Ángela López I remember how books and I fell in love in that humble library; I, longing to feel that immortal beauty between my hands; they, waiting to be undressed by my dreamy eyes. That time when my candorous imagination was seduced by the irresistible letters, and so, from "A" to "Z", reading intoxicated me eternally with its sweet love. Yes!... How not to hypnotize me listening to the great Dostoyevsky philosophizing about society and its behavior? Or how to prevent Horace from tattooing his Carpe Diem on my heart? Not to mention Neruda, have I ever seen anyone else write the saddest verses that night? Although the one who always accompanied me in my stormy thoughts was sweet Jane Austen, who else but her could teach me to vanish pride and prejudice through love? Oh...how captivating the letters are, either to read them or to caress their forms! However, time forgot the old literary meeting table, and brought with it a device small enough to fit in my insep...

By Ángela López The differences between us human beings is fascinating.   Unique and irremediably beautiful in our own way.   Unfortunately, it takes us years of painful experiences to reach the feeling of appreciation for ourselves. When I was a child I couldn't fit into any group, I just liked to be alone in my world, which consisted of reading, drawing and running around.   I hated it when anyone else tried to draw me into childhood activities, but on the other hand, when I saw someone suffering, I would step out of my bubble to try to help.   As I got older I developed something that from my point of view is the ability to step into other people's shoes. So, when a waiter or waitress is unkind, I simply imagine a lot of possibilities as to why they are being mean; then, to the bad attitude, I return a warm smile.   However, I am still a very lonely woman who enjoys little or no parties with friends or family gatherings. For many, I am arrogant, conceited, ...

By Ángela López It is no secret that Alexander III of Macedon, called the Great, is one of the most renowned conquerors in our history. For twelve years he was leading military campaigns and conquests.  Probably, this powerful man also came to feel desolate in the midst of so much land; Nevertheless, his hunger to dominate, coupled with his fervent desire to find the exact place where the Earth ended, prevented this man from adding the word "surrender" to his lexicon. And that's how we humans are; beings who need to feel the thrill of achievement, that we have discovered something or mastered something. Of course, the goal always differs depending on our values. For example; some men dedicate their efforts to be the best father, some women focus on declaring their independence over the macho culture, and others might invest their whole life in search of their soul mate. And what do you invest your energy in? However, to reach that which marks our North, the topography o...

By Ángela López Words caress sweetly or strike cruelly, that is a fact. A couple of years ago someone told me that, "Although I thought I was intelligent, in reality I was not" and, moreover, "I was a weak woman.”  I don't deny that these were difficult words to assimilate, however, I questioned internally those statements. Were they absolute truths what this person was saying, or were they simply comments from someone who wanted to hurt my self-esteem? By asking myself this question, in a way, I took away someone's power to pollute my thoughts.  I imagine that you too have gone through similar situations where you have had to challenge the blatant and malicious opinions of others.   Each of us has tasted a "you're great" as well as a "you are not valuable.”   Paradoxically, many times, it is not necessarily someone around us who can hurt us with their statements, but it is we ourselves who mistreat ourselves psychologically during those endl...

In my country, Colombia, December is undoubtedly the happiest month of the year. I don't know if it is because we are a tropical country or because our veins have all that Latin flavor, but the truth of the matter is that this is the time when Pastor López's music, dancing, custard, fritters, liquor and roasts have their most desired reunion. Even, after going through such a complex year as 2020, we Colombians are looking to shake off all the bad things of these 365 days. It is as if during this month we had a clean slate, or simply suffered amnesia for 31 days. I sincerely hope that this year that is ending will not leave you wounded, dear reader. However, if that is the case, remember to give healing a chance. Easy? It will never be, so let's learn to smile at the process. And how do you do that? I once wrote in one of my blogs that as a teenager I suffered a car accident, which left a deep wound in my right hand, as well as multiple traumas. My...

By Ángela López Be yourself! This is undoubtedly one of the most powerful exhortations today, although for many it has become just another cliché.  Interestingly, despite the call for originality, the truth is that when something goes outside the conventional parameters, people get scared.  This is why some of us prefer to pretend or hide our true selves, so that we don't feel rejected, ridiculed or even abused emotionally and/or physically. Nowadays, lying is like a protective shield against the darts of antipathy and public scorn, because if you show yourself as you are, there will be a lot of birds of prey ready to devour your self-esteem.  Paradoxically, we admire great figures of the seventh art, when in reality each one of us has played an infinite number of roles to avoid losing friends, getting ambitious jobs or maintaining idyllic loves. Hypocrisy has become a matter of survival, no longer even an option. A famous enemy of Batman is known as Two-Face , but... ...

By Ángela López Singing is one of the skills I have most admired. Listening to Luciano Pavarotti, Freddie Mercury or Pedro Infante, is like touching a little piece of heaven in the stormiest moments.   Without being a proper Whitney Houston, I must confess that my off-tune sounds glorious in the shower.   Fortunately, there are other talents and different intelligences (Howard Gardner - Multiple Intelligences).   So, I started researching how I could improve both "spatial-visual" and "linguistic-verbal" intelligence.   However, despite my advances, the comparison exploded like an erupting volcano. Repeatedly, I confronted my work with that of others.   Generally, I used to feel that theirs was far superior to mine, and that my efforts were in vain, as I would never produce anything with characteristics of excellence. In a way, I was showing glimpses of a rather limiting and unpleasant feeling: envy . It should be noted that, envy or that feeling of sadness b...

By Ángela López Do you have any words that you find pretty, inspiring or comforting? In my case, I would say "ineffable. "   I love it because of the warmth of its sound when pronounced, and, because its meaning cannot be easily explained due to its characteristics of singular excellence. For example: "the expression of love on her face was ineffable, and it was all due to her close relationship with herself".   A few days ago, while writing one of the stories for my book, I came across a term that caught my attention: " Achromatopsia ".   Basically, it is an ocular pathology in which one can only see in black and white. And, although it is considered a rare disease, I couldn't help but think that, when it comes to emotional vision , it is quite normal to suffer from it. In a world fragmented by divisions, we tend to ignore the beautiful kaleidoscope that is our heart.   Desperately, we look for any reason to create boundaries and classifications betw...

By Ángela López. "I found myself on a cliff holding someone's hand so that he wouldn't fall, I never managed to see the face of the one who was hanging from me, but for some reason, I felt that he was also the person who was eagerly holding on to the hand of her salvation,” that was for years one of my recurring dreams. This makes a lot of sense, because to be honest, on countless occasions this is precisely how I have felt, hopeless and lonely; trying to help myself so as not to melt completely into despondency.   On some occasions, I have been able to reduce the intensity of devastating thoughts through drawing, writing or sport. Other times, even a simple strawberry ice cream brings me out of my low mood, however, there are extremely difficult moments when the anguish goes deep inside me to the point of feeling absolute pain...physically everything works...but, there is that "I don't know what" bowing to suffering. You've probably thought ...

Are you looking for answers? Then, don't be afraid to ask"...  is what I've said to myself for years.   And it was also the message I conveyed to my dear students; for many of them were ashamed to ask, either because they considered their questions silly or because they believed they lacked learning skills.   However, when we were children this did not happen to us, as we asked the same question over and over again: "Why?” So, our mentors, parents and teachers struggled to respond appropriately and patiently to that question.   Curiosity has always been part of our DNA, in fact, it is thanks to the search for answers that human beings have been able to give life to great inventions, as well as transform the impossible into the possible through Science and Technology. Despite this, we sometimes naively give certain statements as irrefutable without first having verified their origin, authenticity and implications. For example, when you feel hopeless, have yo...

My 15-month-old niece is the clear example of how to be surprised by life. She is happy crossing her small fingers, sighs and opens her bright eyes when she touches different textures, while with her gaze she looks amazed at the origin of the sounds.   The beautiful Julieta -my niece-, lives in constant admiration with this, which is now her world... In fact, even my curly hair has been the object of research by her.   And to think that we were all like that, with that fervent desire to discover everything around us; however, as we "learned" what it was about, we also got used to seeing it as something simple.   Although the question is, do we really know the value of everything we have already supposedly discovered? Or did we just take it for granted that we understood it? A rather popular saying says that, "You don't know what you have until it's gone.” This was exactly what I felt a few months ago when I suffered a terrible respiratory infection. I had...