THE BITTEREST NIGHTMARE, THE SWEETEST DREAM
By Ángela López.
"I found myself on a cliff holding someone's hand so that he wouldn't fall, I never managed to see the face of the one who was hanging from me, but for some reason, I felt that he was also the person who was eagerly holding on to the hand of her salvation,” that was for years one of my recurring dreams. This makes a lot of sense, because to be honest, on countless occasions this is precisely how I have felt, hopeless and lonely; trying to help myself so as not to melt completely into despondency. On some occasions, I have been able to reduce the intensity of devastating thoughts through drawing, writing or sport. Other times, even a simple strawberry ice cream brings me out of my low mood, however, there are extremely difficult moments when the anguish goes deep inside me to the point of feeling absolute pain...physically everything works...but, there is that "I don't know what" bowing to suffering.
You've probably thought about how unfair life can be, but that unfairness might start with the way we process our thoughts. For example, in our minds we could be starring in the roles of judge, prosecutor, and jury. We make harsh accusations about our mistakes and experiences in court. Then, we accommodate the supposedly irrefutable evidence, and we come to the conclusion that our life is worthless. Ironically, we do this in violation of our right to a dignified defense, which means that our defense attorney's evidence is not heard. The verdict is unanimous: guilty. Unjustly, we are not following due emotional process with ourselves, and we forget that the goal is to correct ourselves, not to trap ourselves in self-punishment. Remember, as you develop the habit of self-pity, you open the door to depression and close the door to gratitude. Be very careful which one you want sitting at your table!
Let go of that which shadows your inner peace, that which drowns your voice in sadness. Although it may seem obvious to you: "Today, it will not be the same as tomorrow, therefore, tomorrow, it will not be the same as it was yesterday.” So, do not encapsulate yourself in these thoughts: "there is no way out", "it is impossible", and “everything is lost.” Actually, it's time to drop the sword that has you against the wall. That's right, disarm yourself and start thinking about what's better; knocking down or climbing the wall behind you! So, instead of deploying your mental army towards the destruction of your emotional health, how about directing your brain Spartans towards building a healthy self-image?
Here among us, I have always believed that "Impossible" is just a word waiting to be redefined by the vibrant possibilities of our imagination. For that reason, I encourage you to become the demystifier of your tears and the creator of your smile. "When the feeling of deep despair comes to touch my soul, I have raised my arms and imagined that with my hands I am removing that gray tone from the clouds that torment me from the far away firmament.” So, look for alternatives to lighten the load on your shoulders, be kind to your troubled spirit in those days when the world and its suffocating challenges seem overwhelming. If you do not see a single shooting star on that dark night called "anguish,” it is because the Universe invites you to silence your inner judgments so that you lovingly value your own light. Renounce self-destruction, cling to self-construction!
If you were able to make your bitterest nightmare come true, what makes you think you are not able to make your sweetest dream come true?