THE BITTEREST NIGHTMARE, THE SWEETEST DREAM
By Ángela López.
"I
found myself on a cliff holding someone's hand so that he wouldn't fall, I
never managed to see the face of the one who was hanging from me, but for some
reason, I felt that he was also the person who was eagerly holding on to the
hand of her salvation,” that was for years one of my recurring dreams. This
makes a lot of sense, because to be honest, on countless occasions this is
precisely how I have felt, hopeless and lonely; trying to help myself so as not
to melt completely into despondency. On
some occasions, I have been able to reduce the intensity of devastating
thoughts through drawing, writing or sport. Other times, even a simple
strawberry ice cream brings me out of my low mood, however, there are extremely
difficult moments when the anguish goes deep inside me to the point of feeling
absolute pain...physically everything works...but, there is that "I don't know what" bowing to
suffering.
You've
probably thought about how unfair life can be, but that unfairness might start
with the way we process our thoughts. For example, in our minds we could be
starring in the roles of judge, prosecutor, and jury. We make harsh
accusations about our mistakes and experiences in court. Then, we accommodate the supposedly
irrefutable evidence, and we come to the conclusion that our life is worthless.
Ironically, we do this in violation of our right to a dignified defense, which
means that our defense attorney's
evidence is not heard. The verdict is
unanimous: guilty. Unjustly, we are
not following due emotional process with ourselves, and we forget that the goal
is to correct ourselves, not to trap ourselves in self-punishment. Remember, as you develop the habit of
self-pity, you open the door to depression and close the door to gratitude. Be
very careful which one you want sitting at your table!
Let go of
that which shadows your inner peace, that which drowns your voice in sadness.
Although it may seem obvious to you: "Today,
it will not be the same as tomorrow, therefore, tomorrow, it will not be the
same as it was yesterday.” So, do not encapsulate yourself in these
thoughts: "there is no way out", "it is impossible", and “everything
is lost.” Actually, it's time to drop the sword that has you against the wall. That's right, disarm yourself and start
thinking about what's better; knocking down or climbing the wall behind
you! So, instead of deploying your
mental army towards the destruction of your emotional health, how about
directing your brain Spartans towards building a healthy self-image?
Here among
us, I have always believed that "Impossible"
is just a word waiting to be redefined by
the vibrant possibilities of our imagination. For that reason, I encourage
you to become the demystifier of your tears and the creator of your smile. "When
the feeling of deep despair comes to touch my soul, I have raised my arms and
imagined that with my hands I am removing that gray tone from the clouds that
torment me from the far away firmament.”
So, look for alternatives to lighten the load on your shoulders, be
kind to your troubled spirit in those days when the world and its suffocating
challenges seem overwhelming. If you do
not see a single shooting star on that dark night called "anguish,” it is because
the Universe invites you to silence your inner judgments so that you lovingly
value your own light. Renounce
self-destruction, cling to self-construction!
If you were
able to make your bitterest nightmare come true, what makes you think you are
not able to make your sweetest dream come true?
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