FAIRIES IN THE MATRIX

Without being a big fan of action movies, I have to admit that I felt a great affinity with a phrase said in the Fast and Furious franchise (delivery 7).  In a somewhat melancholy scene, Dominic Toretto tells Letty,"You can't tell someone they love you.”  Apparently this sounds obvious, but, don't believe it... sometimes we stubbornly forget it! Loving is undoubtedly an emotion that can lead us to "the need", the need for our loved one to correspond to us in the same way. However, what happens when you are not reciprocated? Is it wise to surrender in love?

I must emphasize that I disagree with the very popular statement "All’s fair in love and war.” I think that the word "victory" in war is stained by the death of many, so there is no prowess in it, only shame. And if we speak of love, when we cling to someone who does not want to be with us, we are directly attacking our dignity.  Love feeds on its freedom, the day we try to force it, that day we turn it into a ghost. Humiliating ourselves to the point of deteriorating self-respect for fear of losing our idyllic "soul mate," is nothing more than clinging to living inside "the Matrix," even though we know it's not real.Think about it, do you think you deserve to live a life where what they leave in you are not tender traces, but deep wounds? No one has the authority to tell you whether or not you are worth being loved, unless you give them the power to do so.

In Disney's classic tale, Cinderella; her half-sisters Drizella and Anastasia seek at all costs to win the favor of Prince Charming, trying unsuccessfully to fit her feet perfectly into a glass slipper that is clearly not theirs.  Great lesson: Don't even try it, if it's not your size...you will never have your "lived happily ever after.”  Now, if you think that the only way out of the tower guarded by the dragon is in the arms of a brave knight, it's time to remember how easy you could run if you just decided to take off the two princess shoes. And I say both, so we won't have such bad luck, and the lizard spits fire appears at the door, longing to put on the slipper we clumsily left on some step.  On the other hand, if you think that the solution to abandoning the appearance of "the frog" is kissing a princess, why don't you try first to get rid of the self-pity disguise? And by this I mean stop calling attention to your own pity.  Actually, the spell will be broken when you look kindly at the person reflected in the pond. 

It's not that I don't believe in love, of course I do! But in a love worked on the basis of respect and mutual understanding. The infatuation passes like a summer breeze, hence dreaming of perfect soap opera loves is the origin of acute attachments. We have the resposability to give our best to our partner, but we also have the right to receive the best from them. Deifying people who are as human as we are is a mistake that bleeds us emotionally.  Love as a spiritual experience always goes hand in hand with your self-esteem, so when there is no self-love, you undermine the foundation of your relationship and subject it to someone else’s self-centered will. It's time to distort the toxic belief of romantic fantasy... take off the blindfold of love... show yourself as you are, with your bright, dark side; if the person you love vibrates lovingly in the same frequency as you, let me tell you two words: My blessings! 💖 

ÁNGELA LÓPEZ, Author.

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